Emotional Insecurity – Cause, Aftermath and How to Get Rid of It

Emotional Insecurity maybe defined as a feeling of unease which is triggered by perceiving oneself to be worthless, unloved or not good enough. Emotional insecurity is mostly a big part of some mental disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

These types of mental disorders often result in low self-esteem and at times in too high self-esteem, which eventually manifests itself as arrogance or a sense of superiority.

An emotionally insecure person is pessimistic and sometimes antisocial. An insecure person also suffers from social anxiety, body dysmorphia and self-centeredness among other emotional states.

Most insecure people suffer from some degree of isolation. The greater the insecurity, the more isolated person will be. Well, before going further into knowing what is emotional insecurity, let’s get to know how it differs from emotional security.

How to get rid of emotional insecurity

Emotional security is the potential in which a person has a complete control over his emotional state. In short, an emotionally secure person is the one whose mental and emotional health are free from any kind of distress, and are psychologically resilient.

Dr. William E. Blitz was the first person to develop a theory of emotional security. According to him, security is a state of mind in which one is willing to accept the consequences of one’s behavior; all aspects of an individual’s behavior in all areas of his life can be interpreted in terms of security. As for reference, you may want to check out how emotional security interlinks with emotional intelligence.

Unlike a person who is emotionally secured, an insecure person is psychologically weak. He believes he has certain flaws and he is not as perfect as he should be. He starts compensating for those flaws or shortcomings by certain actions like bullying, aggressive behavior, conflicts, arrogance, jealousy and hatred.

Many of us have self-doubts, but an insecure person will try to confirm his doubts by the way people treat him.

For example, a guy thinks he is unattractive and constantly worries that his wife will leave him for a good-looking guy. When he feels ignored by her, he concludes she is interested in another better looking guy than him. Now, he will try to compensate this by adopting abusive behavior towards her.

Most insecure people are selfish and self-centered. In a relationship, an insecure man will only be focused on his pleasures and desires. If his needs are not fulfilled by his partner, his insecurity will increase and will make it hard for his partner to survive the relationship.

Insecure people are defensive when someone points out their flaws and errors, because they simply can’t take criticism. They have controlling personalities, because they feel threatened by other people, they want to crush them. Thus taking out their frustrations on others.

Other signs of an insecure person include over-jealousy, being materialistic and too competitive. They just want others to be impressed by them, so they will do anything to make people believe that they’ve everything a successful and a perfect person should have.

Insecurity is not only dangerous for the person suffering from it, but also those around him. Insecure behavior can devastate relationships and ruin a person’s chances to have a happy and successful life. One should try to overcome his insecurities rather than hiding them.

Getting rid of your insecurities is not an easy task, because, it is a complex behavior with different reasons behind but one can change himself if he wants to. Just give these tips a try and see the changes they bring to your life.

  1. Don’t try to be that ‘perfect image of yourself’ you have in mind. Just be yourself.
  2. Don’t chase perfection, but improve yourself step by step.
  3. Concentrate on your strength, not weakness.
  4. Trust yourself.
  5. Think positive. Identify your negative thoughts and get rid of them.
  6. Don’t blame yourself for unfortunate events. Learn something from them.
  7. Stop comparing yourself or what you have to others or what they have.
  8. Focus on your aims and hope for the best.
  9. Share your insecurities with people you are emotionally attached with. They will know how to help you once they understand you better.
  10. But first of all, you have to realize that you will get nothing by hiding your fear and insecurities, try to fight them.

No one knows yourself better than you, you know your strong and weak points. Well, with the help of this article, now I am pretty sure that you have a clear-cut ideas of how to get rid of insecurities.

[Image via DevianArt]


  1. Sandralyn De Guzman October 14, 2016
  2. Jason Denim August 21, 2016

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